Mother’s Isms

I gave birth to my twins and youngest via c-section.  As typical, an epidural anesthesia was given and I had no sensation of my body, from waist down, for the rest of the day.  “This is how it must feel like to be paralyzed,” I thought.  I pinched my leg, and it felt like I was pinching a giant ham, something separate from my own body.  I lifted and dropped my leg with my hands and no sensation.  As the hours passed, I kept pinching, poking, dropping, hitting my legs just to see how the sensation changes as the anesthesia wore off.  After every hour, the sensation changed which got me to continue pinching, poking, dropping and hitting my legs until I could finally feel them completely.  Then it wasn’t fun anymore.  Everything was just back to normal.


I was recalling all that as I sat next to Nathan in the son-rise room, “joining” him as he ismed (autistic, repetitive behavior).  He was feeling the sensation of the pages of his book as he flipped it across his fingers.  “Joining” is the son-rise’s unique way of showing a child with autism that he is loved and accepted no matter what crazy, repetitious, seemingly random behaviors he exhibits.  It is also the most powerful tool parents can use to really get into their child’s world and understand how they feel…as I was doing earlier.  Just as I couldn’t feel my legs because of anesthesia, Nathan probably cannot feel his extremities well because of his cerebral palsy and/or gut issues.  Back at the hospital, I “ismed”  on my leg trying  understand the mystery of anesthesia and nerve connections.  Nathan also isms to try to get a better understanding of his sense of touch.  When he isms he is only trying his best to cope considering he has problems with nerve connections.


Conventional therapy tells the child to stop isming because the behavior looks “different”.  Son-rise finds out why the child needs to ism.  And the more they are allowed to ism, the more they are able to heal themselves until they do not need to ism anymore.


Another thought entered my mind.  As I sat isming away, my mind could really fly into a parallel universe and totally block out the person in front of me.  Exactly what what kids with autism do.  I finally snapped out of it and realized that Nathan had already put his ismy book down and was now looking straight at me.  Once again, “joining” has accomplished what it usually does:  gets the attention of the child who normally will just stay in their own world.  When Nathan looked at me, it was as if he said, “Thanks for understanding me and speaking my language, now I’m ready to come out of my world and enter yours.”  He gave me his full attention and allowed me to finish reading the rest of my book for him.


I love son-rise for giving me these moments to reflect and truly understand my child.


How Nathan regressed deep into autism and how we’re gonna find our way out.

At birth
Premature (7 months gestation)
NICU neurologist (after examining brain scans) says, “Nathan may never walk, he may have learning difficulties.”

5 months
PT confirms cerebral palsy (limited motor abilities)

9 months
First word: apple

1 year old
Nathan knows a handful of words

1 1/2 years old
Nathan knows at least 50 words (2 sets of flash cards). Doctors dismiss “learning difficulty.”
Mom and Nathan can play a modified version of “name that tune.”

2 years old
Nathan is still not walking but is talking in sentences.
He knows ALL his nursery rhymes and easily picks up new ones.
He can listen to mom spell and identify the words.

2 1/2 years old
Developmental Neurologist sees his eye-contact and dismisses “learning difficultly” prognosis…only walking was the problem.
Nathan is still getting his pronouns wrong.
Hasn’t started to converse.
Has a bit of echolalia.
Nathan hums in between singing his nursery rhymes.

3 years old
Nathan starts to walk independently.
The humming in between his nursery rhymes becomes longer and longer. Mom begins to wonder if those are blank moments.
Nathan never converses.
Nathan does not answer the question “What is your name?”
His attention span is short for his age.
…but parents wait patiently for cognitive gains while enrolling him in PT, OT, The Listening Program, Aquatherapy.

3 1/2 years old
New Developmental Neurologist says, “I worry about his social skills.”
Nathan fails to acknowledge father’s presence (after living apart for a year to get access to more therapy).

4 years old
Nathan goes to summer school and is evidently in this own world.
Neurologist confirms: AUTISM. He tell moms, things will get better
…but mom thinks: Why does it seem to be getting worse?
Nathan loses eye-contact.
He never converses.
He never learns to play with toys.
He does not play with his siblings.
He stopped singing songs and spends more time humming.
He stopped describing things around him.
He even stopped his echolalia.
Stem cell injections – it did nothing for autism.

4 1/2 years
Nathan’s cognitive level after Neuro. Dev. assessment: only 1 year 2 months. Less than half his age??? What happened? Despite intensive therapy, Nathan had become severely autistic. He wasn’t born with this autism.

5 years old
We found the Son-Rise Program! The best therapy for kids with autism and the best parenting tools for parents (with or without special needs kids).
Nathan gains intentional speech.
Gains eye-contact
Nathan starts to bond with Papa again.

6 years old
MMS! It’s not in the medical books. Only 5 weeks into MMS,
Nathan by himself, plays with cars appropriately;
He wants a say in what to wear;
He’s more persistent when he wants to be heard;
He has started to talk about his past;
He is more consistent in answering questions, even a second rkind of questions (2 loop conversation)
maybe even a 3rd and fourth, especially with coaching.
All these are emerging skills but I have full confidence this is the way out of autism.

I speak with conviction because to date, 73 kids (some are teenagers) have recovered from autism with MMS. And the number is growing.

Parasites, bad bacteria, yeast and viruses that release waste and decompose in kids guts release toxins which affect the brain causing autism. MMS kills all those.
Nathan is on his way to recovery.

It’s not in medical books.
If you want read the criticism about MMS by the people who have NOT tried MMS. But also read the great things said by those that have tried it:

With and Without Son-Rise

Buddy is our new son-rise volunteer.  In the first video, he is on the job training and this is only his second session with Nathan.  Prior to the video, Buddy was asked to “join” Nathan for the first 30 minutes.  That is, echo whatever Nathan says, wether it was meaningful words or just the most crazy string of words he has ever heard before.  After that investment in relationship building, Nathan was ready to interact with Buddy.   Nathan asks Buddy to spell for him.  Watch Nathan ask Buddy several times to assist him spell and watch how Nathan expresses his comfort, through body language, despite Buddy being with a new volunteer.

If Nathan was left alone, he would so easily regress further into autism.  That is why it is so important to fill his hours with son-rise hours.  To highlight my point, I took a video of Nathan, intentionally not doing any son-rise with him.

If you don’t have the heart to love and accept special children, especially when they are behaving differently from how you behave, this video is not for you.

MMS is son-rise fast-forward

MMS makes me feel like we’re on son- rise fast-forward. We used to get an interaction from Nathan simply by echoing his verbal isms. Now, when we say things, Nathan echoes back. He is clearly more attentive and learning more. His eye contact is stronger than it already was with son-rise. Son-rise made him more persistent, yet it went up a notch with louder voice and body gestures. He holds my chin if he wants to be heard. He is saying more cognitive things like, “the CD looks like cymbals.”

All those improvements came with free worms in his poop thanks to MMS. He started regressing from age 2 1/2. It’s been 4 years. I’m certain he’ll be a different person when we get all the junk out of his gut.

I just have to add. I’m glad I found son-rise before MMS. It makes me a better parent understanding my child and his isms. And yes, I want his isms to go away as fast as possible but that does not make me love him less. And yes, even if Nathan does not fully recover…I will be grateful for all the love I have received because of him.

Why Volunteer

I was reflecting on why we work so hard to get volunteers for Nathan’s Son-Rise Program. Aside from the fact that it is highly recommended by the Son-Rise program, here are my answers:

1. Volunteers add hours to Nathan’s therapy. The more hours the better his prognosis.
2. Because they have volunteered, these people really want to help and will really learn to love and accept Nathan no matter what his handicap is/are. Being loved and accepted is the foundation of growth.
3. As our child is loved, we parents are also encouraged. If I may speak for others, it is common for parents of special needs children to feel incarcerated in public, especially if their child with autism is not behaving according to social standards more so if the child is always having tantrums in public. I used to hate getting those stares from people judging me for being a horrible mother and not being able to keep Nathan quiet. The worst was when traveling and being stuck in a plane for 4 hours with a tantruming Nathan and not being able to walk out of the situation.
4. The more volunteers, the more fun and creative game ideas. The crazier the idea, the faster the child learns.
5. Volunteers (in any circumstance) have personal reasons for doing so. If and when their personal questions have been answered by their volunteering, it enhances their lives an they in turn enhance the lives of the people they volunteer for.
6. To put it quite simply, it makes the world a better place. Too many times, special needs children and adults are misunderstood. Working with a special child and seeing the world through their eyes, with the help of the son-rise program, help people understand and appreciate them better. If this generation has a hard time understanding autism, hopefully the next generation won’t. That will make the world a better place for Nathan and so many more kids being diagnosed every day.

Back in Japan, Marie was such a wonderful volunteer. When we left for Singapore, she continued working…more like playing…with another child in the spectrum. She loves what she does so much, she has even invited friends to join her. I know Marie will touch so many more lives, especially those of kids who really need it most. I feel fortunate to say that Nathan makes up part of the reason why she has and will do more amazing things!

Love Son-Rise!

My little angel, Ian

I was telling Ian (age 4) the theory about babies picking the parents they would be born into. Then I asked, “Ian, when you were a baby in heaven, did you pick Mama and Papa?” He nodded yes! I asked again, “Do you remember?” He nodded yes again 🙂

In the afternoon, I picked up the topic again and asked, “Ian, I think you picked Mama and Papa because you knew Kuya Nathan and Ate Amor (preemie twins age 6) needed help?” Ian affirmed, “Yup, I picked Mama because Kuya Nathan Ate Amor needs MY help.”

Fingers crossed, first memory recall

I may be over excited but I believe Nathan just used his first past tense sentence…he’s recalling (or can verbalize that he can recall) memory from about 7 months back:

Nathan: Airplane looks like a spaceship
Me: Do you remember the airplane at Oji Zoo?
Nathan: Airplane at Oji Zoo
Me: Do you remember the spaceship at Oji Zoo?
Nathan: Spaceship at Oji Zoo….(paused while thinking)…Train at Oji Zoo.
Me: OMG! Yes! Those were your 3 favorite rides at Oji Zoo! You remember!
(Still trying to push my luck if he can verbalize the animals that he saw)
Me: Do you remember the zebra at Oji Zoo?
Nathan: (long pause) Horse?
Me: (thinking there were no horses, darn, we were doing so good with memory recall…..wait…) Oh, you remember the carousel at Oji Zoo! (I got him to ride it even of it wasn’t his favorite).
Nathan: How about merry-go-round?
Me: Of course, yes, it was merry-go-round (Ya Mama, stop confusing the child and giving too many names for the same thing).

It’s our 3rd week of MMS.

Nathan is also more responsive so Ian is spending more time…like 6 mins (up from 5 mins, hahaha)…and having fun son-rising him. Sometimes I just catch my boys laughing together. Music to my ears.